Hi all! You've probably given up on me by now, and figured that I just faded into the wall and gave up on blogging all together! Well, that has been kinda true, but it's not because I've wanted to give up on writing or that I don't have an opinion or two....mostly I haven't had time to write, and I put more time and energy into Facebook, because it's fast and dirty. I don't have enough time to myself to put two sensible words together, and my concentration is in the toilet!
Life is full, sometimes more full than I want it to be, and not full of the things that I had envisioned for my retirement! I wanted to be on the road in my motor home, with my honey at my side, exploring all of the parts of the country that we have not yet experienced. Be able to work on our long list of house and garden projects, or just sit and read!! I wanted to be able to say 'yes' to spontaneous invitations from friends to get together, listen to music, or just hang out....things I couldn't always do with a hospital schedule that included weekends, holidays and shift work. Actually, FREEDOM just sounded so GOOD!!!!
Instead, we are up before the crack of dawn, prying two little girls out of bed, making breakfast, school lunches, walking to school and picking up, helping with homework, going on school outings, filling in for parent conferences, dealing with behavior issues, planning 'fun' activites and trips....sleep-overs, a week Palm Springs and a two week motor home trip in the summer, and Las Vegas this fall. A snow trip later this winter, to be planned....
It's been almost a year now, and probably 6+ months to go...my house has NEVER looked like this, the laundry is never ending, I'm starting to hate cooking, and I cry a lot. There are days that I don't think I could fit another thing in, and I'm in bed by the time the kids are. I haven't seen my garden in weeks, and I just hope it is taking care of itself! I decorated for Christmas and put up a tree, but this is the first year in a long while that I didn't want to!
But, you know what? Despite the whining and occasional tear, I know in my soul that I am where I am suppose to be at this time in my life. My honey and I know that we are the best team going, my daughter is studying to be a chef at Le Cordon Bleu in San Francisco, and will eventually be doing something that she loves as her life's work, and my grandgirls are happy, healthy, stimulated and safe. The 10 year old told me last night that she was greatful for being here and that she would remember it for the rest of her life...now how can you not love that?
Good to hear from you. You are a good mother and grandmother and you will get through this and be OK. More than that I'll bet. Your grand daughter said it all. What can be better than that. When you and yo honey finally get to take care of yourselves (that's important too) you'll be proud and it will mean even more. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteYou are soooo sweet Jackie, thank you!! Some friends don't get what we're doing, but we feel okay with it........stressed, but learning how to offset it!!! The kids are only young once, and we know if we weren't there, it would be a totally different story for them.
ReplyDeleteHappy Holiday to you two!!!!